Red Dexter

Cerulean love...

It's been a while i am not in quite a good shape for writting or share any of my thoughts... Some how today is so calm and rainy morning... I myself have never expose any internal part of me, real me to anyone... Yet, my stars sends me the only exception... She is so different from most i've met... I never thought that i will fall completely for her... By time flies & i have learnt that reality comes when u choose & place yourself into your love one to become complete... She make my days full of joy n sunshine... Every single minute is all about us... I move & squeeze every part of me to stand equal to her & let myself to free fall apart knowing & having faith that she will catch me somehow... Tears has been shed but yet it is my fault thou... I am a man that willing to change myself for the better of us... I still can't stop thinking of her... It just turns out to be i am at complete zero level without her... I feel a lot of confusing... But, i love that feeling recites in me...
I love my reality & her to be one n complete... The distance is cruel to us... But the bond, the faith, the moment, the love, the reality & the truth... Will never tear us apart...

And thus, this is story of us, and this is story of me squeezing all my strength from tomorrow & the other day forward to keep her close next to me ever after...

Cheerioo...

Whisperer

A lot happened at the end of 2015...first tine been into emergency due to chest pain n short breath...it feels like time is slowing down and i just not knowing what happen to myself...i just keep telling myself to relax and keep breathing yet avoid being stressed out by the pain...it is a relieve manage to endure and still struggling to live n heal... I have been creating some new bond with fresh people that have way far more relevance ideas than mine... Being more patience than ever... Despite changing all of myself and plant a new seed to be a better man... Have a good taste of foods... A new one that always held me up when i feels like falling... Never give up... I will have a soft and warm heart to begin with... Try out the buffet... I spent 4 hours consuming grill lamb n sushi n shrimp.. Oh yeah i am good at chew n swallow..... Appreciate little things n live...

A long gone heart

Hi..i just got break up with my gf n in adorable manner i have a new one...despite of that the new one is so absolute amazing that i just turn into a new person..haha...kinda funny when it plays in my mind how so fast the feelings upon her turns me into someone i never expect...life is good n live...sometuing good always come at the end for people who strive to excel with courage n patience...i love her n never thought she will be the one n the lady of my life...eid has pass n now need to complete more struggle to rinse n clorox my heart from darkness n start believing we don't need to wait till the stars fall upon our hands to obtain absolute happiness...i hereby praying n keep holding on no matter what u won't let her go...i love u...

A long gone heart

Hi..i just got break up with my gf n in adorable manner i have a new one...despite of that the new one is so absolute amazing that i just turn into a new person..haha...kinda funny when it plays in my mind how so fast the feelings upon her turns me into someone i never expect...life is good n live...sometuing good always come at the end for people who strive to excel with courage n patience...i love her n never thought she will be the one n the lady of my life...eid has pass n now need to complete more struggle to rinse n clorox my heart from darkness n start believing we don't need to wait till the stars fall upon our hands to obtain absolute happiness...i hereby praying n keep holding on no matter what u won't let her go...i love u...

Wave in and out

This week is quite great spending my time at my birthtown...i have merge with nature n i feel like living in it...a lot of stress released...my night is day again..hoooyaaaa...food is good n most important my granny alive n healthy..i got this thirst upon blood..i have been thinking about real blood...all over again n yet d raw lamb never satisfued my desire...by any means coffee helps me a lot...n being with family fits all d least part in me...i love my life n i am never regret...

Add me

This is my Real Madrid Fantasy Manager fan code (1x6fXs9CVv). Add me and let`s see who knows more about @rmfantasy http://goo.gl/0Yc34y

Stunned

I want to know the truth..from early the only rule applied is honesty beyond anything...what is the second rule??2nd will be godie...people asked me y ur page so dull n u don't post most of like others..food,festives,holidays n etc..happy thing they mean..i just said this n they unfren me from facebook..to always remember our joy might be a wound for another who lives in the way of hatred,pain,tears begging n needed...best thing is to keep it in my head..a good day as always mych more i am just revising some of my technique in crushing minions...my life is sucks but i just keep continue living...they treat me a dog soon they be much disgrace than a dog n will be liking my feet...goodnight...

Being patience

I have a addiction towards the sea..i really widh to spend most of my lifetime woth sea..not d tsunami or storm but d beauty of waves n calm breeze of d wind..hard to resist financial problem lately but in a good condition where i manage to settled most of my debts from my absolute dark past...having a lot in mind i am trying to empty my cup so that i can pour another latte in it..i truly understand slavery us another type of perception..experiencing hatred is d most sweet thing...me being rare is usual n when i try to be normal i just lost balance n fall..yet i will always try harder to stand n jump then dive deep in d sea...what i have in mind is just i won't have to lose anymore...

Fat of chicken..

It is confirm i am now 69.6 kg...oh duck i am fat after having a year of chicken...miserable life though...i eat a lot when stress maybe...things never be easy on me...lately i am trying reducey weigh n body fat with such a weird style menu n time of consumption n some run...n i belief i am missing u...like seriously i am missing u a lot...i am a real madrid fan n always proud to wear it coz liverpool n barcelona fear it...haha...this weekend got some shit class...with me as only male in the class...haih..everyday in my life untill march next year i need to wake up damn early even on the sunday...fuck!!! I am 23 but i am no zlatan...zlatan can do anything...6 years of my life been wasted n its a relief i still can talk n having some joy with little thing n money...the thing is thst bitch is haunting me back...i need to be off the grid for a while though...
Goodnight...i am affad n i want to drive a camaro...

Mere human

It is quite hard for me to have my life freely...i am just a living body with nothing to lose or to chase...days getting me quite down n depress i have find a lot of weakness when i am being soft...i need to learn to breathe harder n push myself higher...gaining a lot of fat i am obese n becoming quite lame...naaah maybe i am worried too much that i lose sense of staying fit for my own...still wishing a rainbow bridge so that i can cross to the side which i can be more me...not dead..haha..i wanna live my own way...just stop pushing me..

it's all winter

believe me i merely vanquished the legend to become one.....lol.....for the time being my life getting harder when i try to built trust in me,.....despite maybe it just another play in my mind that i rejected goodness in me....step further forward with no worries to fall...that's me/.....it's cold and dark..........it's deadly frostbite and stormy....winter never disappoint the hopes and the hatred of the one who believe in it.......loop a step and count....how many smile that u shine up others day in your sorrow is it impossible for u to get even a one bright smile.....goodluck...

scarlet carson

this one can be the symbol of love or hatred and also vengeance...it seems to be the best that ever be in me.....one time i remember my hands so dirty that come the thoughts in which is there still a heart in me....tonight i see her smile and i keep asking myself..is this what people feel when they got into the same frequency of their mind....i wish the feel never left...since early time i just believe in one thing.... precision of stars...the way it shows the beauty sometimes makes the people forgot about its thorns....for the love of scarlet carson i while living have be best for me and starts what i should be starting from before....today i have her next to me and i wish the next to me never been gone from me n my soul....else i'm just be empty n the another me will take over again... best parts is i do love u like i'm holding the moon in my hand......

air

tonight i've stranded on the highway after my bike jammed and override...sitting there alone watching the night males me wonder how is that the night so beautiful but my time with the night not really spent at best...a very tiring night and feel like no luck at all..but then i open my box and grab some chocolate bars i feel here's still a bless from ALLAH and i know HE cheer me up a bit by the food he give...tomorrow just a free weekend as if i just have some fun with my mom and sister maybe go for the lake...or just for movies...and someone will come to help me on next week...i'll be a busy man...and hope can clear all my debt...

THE AIR SO CHILL WITH THE STARS TELLING THE STORY OF ANOTHER WORLD BEYOND ME..... LOL..

i'm with you

with the words i love you i manage to get a true meaning of love not by the body neither by the kiss...it just come when i do feel in need for someone that i can have my life to put together with....if i do let it go....later then i will be in despair....i rise from the end i run towards no ends and i mange to fly across the land of no doubts.....i wish of something but i never hope of everything....all matters is the love itself that can never dies.....

no doubt

the night always looks much better than the day...as if living in the night seem to be best for me....looking for a job and try to strive in maintaining the order,,,,i love u and i know that's what i learn and i bow myself to....midnight sounds creepy by the insect and the wind...world of desire never shows less satisfaction than ever....in bright side i've found a girl that changed the order....i like her i'll try to be with her for eternity only if its worth a lifetime...

the taste of a heart.

i've heard a tale about a young guy that live in the woods turn out to be the king of the fairyland...it all started with a miserable life of his, despite of that he never regrets what've been written in his destiny...only one thing he knows for sure is to win...in the meantime, at the fairyland was in disaster when the prophecy came out that a strong young man of the woods will claim the throne...they all started to hunt down that ordinary man cause in their mind ordinary means nothing...they search all over and yet they found him...then the wonder why in the earth that ordinary man can claim the fairy kingdom....they impersonate themselves like a normal human and went to ask that man what's so special about him....when they asked him, " hey there, you live in the woods and how can possibly an ordinary like you be so special till your name be heard in heaven?" ...that man answered, " go fuck yourself!!"...the fairy so shock that the man doesn't even have a heart to fell anything...joy,pain,love,hate,hatred,despair,sad,fear and happiness seems to be impossible to him...by the time pass that man have slain all the extraordinary and he done it with no mercy....whenever his prey beg for mercy the same phrase came out his mouth, "just not tonight,not tonight"..........moon rises with no sun up ahead that man already be on top of the world with a pride in himself that never to lose....he conquer the fairyland in one nights all alone and at the end of the nights he calls up a fairy that he spare her life out of sudden and speech out his wish....he said..i've got everything in my hand but i never got the heart to live with, i let you live so that you can save me from this world.i don't belong here...that fairy tried to kill that man by stabbing him so hard in his chest penetrate his heart but then the man do nothing and only said,"as if what've you have done will save me from this world i will spare your life"..the fairy cried out and by miracle happens her tears have cured him and save that man from this world....

the end...

i listen to this a lot and i just believes me can be the best even if the world never be better....

i don't need another chance from people like u

week started with joy and in the middle of it it turn to misery and the end of it i realize a new life wait me up ahead...i just need to move forward...i just let everything be...everything goes to plan...and i know i'm awesome in making people hates me....i love this week much because its the kick start of my new incredible life....i just sad once upon a time i've praised that one as my role model but in the middle of it i know that i'm doing the worst mistakes in my life....perhaps i'm just a normal guy who living upon his dream.....i don't know what happen tomorrow, in fact i know with this hands and legs that i borrow from ALLAH i can change tomorrow for the better or the best...i just love being alone and i like it when i'm right...cause the thing that turn out to be bad in others point of view will be my ultimate favorite after all....the nights seems to be chill a bit but the sky never let me down...it gives the best stories that ever known to me...btw...thanx...and with a vow i will make that happen...this one time  you fuck me up and next will be all time i fuck u all up...the board is mine!!!