make this day more beautiful

last night i go met her and the feelings seems like i don't know what i feel.....the fact i'm just the devil besides u.....never stop listen to u and make it worst.....i believe i never return to my old me...because that bastard wasn't so racist like now....now i be so much racist more than i wanted n i like it.....feel so close but i don't even get the aura that i hope so.....still at my hometown meet the people of my past but still no nostalgia happens....so sudden i just love it be this way.....today i not notice what best to do...then i decide to do my laundry and think how much my hatred and the vendetta has grown in me....and i never wish to stop any of it....the only thing i hope is one day i say it loud "i don't feel anything anymore!!!".....baby maybe i'm not best eligible for u and i just want you to know u don't have to worry....whenever u want to leave and step away i pleased u to do so....too long being alone and i'm getting too much into it.....

it's already raya......

times goes by so fast till i not really notice it's already been hari raya.....create another emotion for this day but then the havoc n overwhelming spirit of the day that i hope to rule me over never make it to what i expected....i've lost about half of my seed when i try not to be what i used to....and i love u....whenever red turn to blue i know it turns to worst everytime... everytime i praise Allah i know he will never let me down....the eldest told me they never saw such a dirty heart as mine....they just pray me never lose myself upon something that i'm chasing upon....but then i know what best for me is to held upon my mother and keep giving her full commitment and support so she keep strong walking along her road....less than that i notice i just be more than me,....i pleased myself whenever i'm not in a good shape to do so....the best thing is i'm in my own world and people start to like it that way.....