hey lady

i think i just make someone mad at me.....i wonder what happen but in order seeking for answer i never find one.....because i've blocked my heart to accept my truth of being me...despite all of my disparity i ain't realize i still have the heart of a human.....heart that contains poison named LOVE.....i step out of my world for a while and i found that people around me sharing and being together.....in which i found that very lack of me to do the same......things change and i also change.....i never thought i've suffer much than i imagine....i feel like roasted in a chamber.......and get used to it.......all of day i've been thinking i'm just ignoring things and just be fine of everything.......being mature what i claimed to her but i feel like i'm the only keep thinking about her......what makes me laugh that she said she miss somebody...and i asked what miss someone means to her.....than she said i don't know.....i feel pity of her.....the other day i meet someone that nostalgia in my life......she's growing and being old.....and i absolutely surprise of her change...still....time pass she's the one that makes me happy from the inside of me......wish to be with her forever in my life...

a little can be a lot

sharing my history with someone i love is the way i prefer to make my life's go on according to my prediction....on the upper hand i feel like i'm disguise with the disparity in me.....perhaps maybe too much singing and messing around....find out myself in love with that girl.....she is so beautiful and worth my life to get her......in change of making myself awesome i need to get into others life and understand what in them.....someone asked me why just i can let by gone be by gone....then my answer is that's what u are not me....i choose to struggle and nailed it......naaahhh.....my sister kinda suspicious with me...she think i'm onto something towards her....maybe that's the reflects of too long stay indoor without going out and view the world moving on......she's insane and waiting to roar.....but just let her decide.....my life nowadays is being complete by the series and sequel......i can't imagine how i would be without watching any......i notice girls nowadays getting dumber as they think they can win the game without being a tool to guy....poor u...but i'm always there to help 'poor' girl....i'm a good listener and the best demon-like human have ever born.....put a price and there i am for u.....hahahahahah

HARD TIME

it's a happy and bright week when i got to know my mom survive her hips to backbone operation......thanks to all who support me when i'm in my hard time...love u all......second thing i got a smile from my love one...i never feel very peace like this and i feel what joy exactly is......it's been a long time i ain't update my blog but no matter at all as long i can see my mom again alive and on her way to getting better....five months is the time for her to be able to stand after the operation and couple of month after that for her to be able to walk again...thanx god for your bless to her.....i will never forget about it ad have doubt on u....since u been gone it have been a misery to me till now.....i don't know why i live in past for everyday in my life...maybe i choose it to be that way...........many think that i'm okay but i'm not just okay.....i'm trying to survive and retrieve myself....i like where i'm standing now because no matter what happen i still be me......i lost me before and i don't want to spend my lifetime to keep searching me......maybe i'm just denying the thoughts that i just fall from the sun..........but i don't care......i only live to the order though i have many things to achieve.....lately very busy to keep my promise done......have a huge list still i can feel the excitement........some things i got lust in girls lately but far from that i only love the taste of thoughts and their brains....to me that is more delicious than their body.......something i don't know what continues to caving me inside out......yesterday i drown in your world that i never thought that i can climb and swim to the shore today i walk in your forest where i be in labyrinth that almost no way out............and tomorrow i will be on top where u watch me scream and celebrate my victory while u fall into my reef which u never come back again to stop my legacy..........i can't found the cause but i can found the way to prevent...........part of me is dying so that the other can continue their way to beat u down..............seriously.....i'm awesome........

why need to be regret???

i don't notice that people around me think i'm regret with my deeds....despite that i know i'm awesome...because they're buying my acting.....i don't know why they're so idiot at all.....i listen to myself a lot lately.....rather than that i also need blood.....my thirst towards it is beyond my imagination.....n yesterday i've drown in the deep of your reality....too far i've travel, i've go through it but i still got nowhere....i don't even reach my spot.....hmm.....all i can say is goodbye while my heart says no to it....i'm distracted by the insanity of satisfying my lust......which i don't know how......today i'm going back to my hometown......i'll burnt anyone who dare to intersect my way in getting what i want.....to miss ariana if u reading this i really thank to god because i managed to know u.....u pure my heart in which i myself can't ever get it done......and miss lului arliani i've been missing u around...the guardian of all time.....i love u both......