HARD TIME

it's a happy and bright week when i got to know my mom survive her hips to backbone operation......thanks to all who support me when i'm in my hard time...love u all......second thing i got a smile from my love one...i never feel very peace like this and i feel what joy exactly is......it's been a long time i ain't update my blog but no matter at all as long i can see my mom again alive and on her way to getting better....five months is the time for her to be able to stand after the operation and couple of month after that for her to be able to walk again...thanx god for your bless to her.....i will never forget about it ad have doubt on u....since u been gone it have been a misery to me till now.....i don't know why i live in past for everyday in my life...maybe i choose it to be that way...........many think that i'm okay but i'm not just okay.....i'm trying to survive and retrieve myself....i like where i'm standing now because no matter what happen i still be me......i lost me before and i don't want to spend my lifetime to keep searching me......maybe i'm just denying the thoughts that i just fall from the sun..........but i don't care......i only live to the order though i have many things to achieve.....lately very busy to keep my promise done......have a huge list still i can feel the excitement........some things i got lust in girls lately but far from that i only love the taste of thoughts and their brains....to me that is more delicious than their body.......something i don't know what continues to caving me inside out......yesterday i drown in your world that i never thought that i can climb and swim to the shore today i walk in your forest where i be in labyrinth that almost no way out............and tomorrow i will be on top where u watch me scream and celebrate my victory while u fall into my reef which u never come back again to stop my legacy..........i can't found the cause but i can found the way to prevent...........part of me is dying so that the other can continue their way to beat u down..............seriously.....i'm awesome........