hi i'm affad nice to meet u

i love myself!!!today i got few words from my mom that inspire me a lot..thanks lady u got my heart on u forever....i promise u that u won't regret to give birth to this awesome guy and raise him well....lately i feel tired...and coincidence happens.....i let something go not on purpose but bless come i think...

and my ex-colleague mad at me...i just playing the jokes that she look tired because of pregnant.....not because the joke she mad.....she mad because she's really carrying a baby at age of 18.....with no legal husband....idk the facts....maybe it's my fault because don't sense her feelings rightfully......and to keep the truth i never care....it's your fault bitch not mine......i love my awesome life....and good luck delivering bastard with the dad vanish already....i just want to be nice but u drag me there....heheheone thing about today is i sit on my veranda smoking some cigar and taste the gloomy air......

make one to be two

life spent base on daily experience is so hard to be told...many let themselves to be sway in their book and think they be as perfect as they wanted to....despite they just lost the meaning of what called life....my day is out of misery for a while but got a bit lack when i go down along my path......many changes need to be done and i think i'm in love......not knowing i'm moving on from the old me....i'm getting good in my chess......people never smells any of my trick they only realized whenever i say the word "checkmate"......life quite easy if we learn to adapt and survive....coincidence happens...i almost got into an accident....lucky me i drop the gear and the bike that race with me lose control and a van hit him...pity of him i just smile.....seriously i don't know where my mercy is.....only vengeance and intelligence mean a thing to me....so long i live in dark n i think i own it......i set some special occasion for the one i want to be mine.....i let myself in so i know what wrong with me......at the end still i ask for forgiveness......that's y i still afraid to sleep....i'm afraid of losing me in me.....

it sometime comes with grace

later after i read some of my own journal i found myself in deep case which i've lost the reason that bring me back to live.....a cure of all is what i need but what i obtained is already poisoning me...hang out with friends like usual but i'm just be a silencer when be with them....depart from one place to another i learn about their intelligence and madness.....people likes killing each other to survive that what i really seen.....at the end of day i met some new idiot who let themselves be my pawn in my chess board......don't praise me but it's true i'm awesome...seriously i love and addicted to big apple....

zz in weird mood....

long time i've been into silence and in quite deep...i let things be in their own miracle while the other part in which in my control i let it be like i want to.....celebrating my birthday on last weekend and quite sorrow but i'm happy it be like that.....i celebrate together with my mom.....best part is she cried for joy...blow the candle with the wish that i can see my mom stand from her wheel and walk like normal people do.....but i don't tell her any of that....got some calls from people of my past...and shock me out they still remember my day....but nothing left in me to remember any of that....most of all i just feel my side that empty before is slowly getting occupy by my deeds......life's hard but it needs some joy to make it easy.....love myself.....no matter what happen i know i'm awesome...and i was born to live on the top.....