the taste of a heart.

i've heard a tale about a young guy that live in the woods turn out to be the king of the fairyland...it all started with a miserable life of his, despite of that he never regrets what've been written in his destiny...only one thing he knows for sure is to win...in the meantime, at the fairyland was in disaster when the prophecy came out that a strong young man of the woods will claim the throne...they all started to hunt down that ordinary man cause in their mind ordinary means nothing...they search all over and yet they found him...then the wonder why in the earth that ordinary man can claim the fairy kingdom....they impersonate themselves like a normal human and went to ask that man what's so special about him....when they asked him, " hey there, you live in the woods and how can possibly an ordinary like you be so special till your name be heard in heaven?" ...that man answered, " go fuck yourself!!"...the fairy so shock that the man doesn't even have a heart to fell anything...joy,pain,love,hate,hatred,despair,sad,fear and happiness seems to be impossible to him...by the time pass that man have slain all the extraordinary and he done it with no mercy....whenever his prey beg for mercy the same phrase came out his mouth, "just not tonight,not tonight"..........moon rises with no sun up ahead that man already be on top of the world with a pride in himself that never to lose....he conquer the fairyland in one nights all alone and at the end of the nights he calls up a fairy that he spare her life out of sudden and speech out his wish....he said..i've got everything in my hand but i never got the heart to live with, i let you live so that you can save me from this world.i don't belong here...that fairy tried to kill that man by stabbing him so hard in his chest penetrate his heart but then the man do nothing and only said,"as if what've you have done will save me from this world i will spare your life"..the fairy cried out and by miracle happens her tears have cured him and save that man from this world....

the end...

i listen to this a lot and i just believes me can be the best even if the world never be better....

i don't need another chance from people like u

week started with joy and in the middle of it it turn to misery and the end of it i realize a new life wait me up ahead...i just need to move forward...i just let everything be...everything goes to plan...and i know i'm awesome in making people hates me....i love this week much because its the kick start of my new incredible life....i just sad once upon a time i've praised that one as my role model but in the middle of it i know that i'm doing the worst mistakes in my life....perhaps i'm just a normal guy who living upon his dream.....i don't know what happen tomorrow, in fact i know with this hands and legs that i borrow from ALLAH i can change tomorrow for the better or the best...i just love being alone and i like it when i'm right...cause the thing that turn out to be bad in others point of view will be my ultimate favorite after all....the nights seems to be chill a bit but the sky never let me down...it gives the best stories that ever known to me...btw...thanx...and with a vow i will make that happen...this one time  you fuck me up and next will be all time i fuck u all up...the board is mine!!!

finishing

that's the part which the hardest to complete by anyone that try hardly to change the reality....i read the manual and understand the rule of being a mind...risk is usual n the verdict is on me..later this days i've struggle to live like tomorrow's there waiting for me to get past through it....but then i got the way that shortcuts will only lead u to dead end....i live to die as a man that never regret his lifetime spent...

i live to achieve me...

i woke up early lately and watch myself in the mirror and see how great i am nowadays...people be meaner murdering their own blood in the name of 'safety precaution' i wonder what they feel doing that so...despite of that i just feel myself free when i walk in the wind....i feel my blood run through every part of me and make me move further....i be with some girls that i don't even remember their name...sort of that i continues to fill in my scrap book...it's my only art work for now...planning new gameplay...seeking for new prey n playing with them....recruiting new members and show them how i sync my heart , my soul , my body, and so do my mind.....i found myself in the dark and i'm so get used to eat....make some new words...and accepted some challenge....and for best 'mak angkat pesan affad tak kire pe jangan main janda, pelacur n puntianak'...i just laugh when she say that repeatedly everytime i go meet her...naah...as usual my life's awesome..ALHAMDULILLAH...speaking of my day..it sometime had gone far to harsh for me to lay low....thanx to my mind it controls my body well n never let me ruin the plan...hahaha....for the first time i feel a bit feeling to my prey and so sudden i put some hope...and that never be good....surely i always change my reality in order to slip from one to another prey...by that i manage to move aside from the pityness....hahahaha....night always make u feel better than living through the day

make this day more beautiful

last night i go met her and the feelings seems like i don't know what i feel.....the fact i'm just the devil besides u.....never stop listen to u and make it worst.....i believe i never return to my old me...because that bastard wasn't so racist like now....now i be so much racist more than i wanted n i like it.....feel so close but i don't even get the aura that i hope so.....still at my hometown meet the people of my past but still no nostalgia happens....so sudden i just love it be this way.....today i not notice what best to do...then i decide to do my laundry and think how much my hatred and the vendetta has grown in me....and i never wish to stop any of it....the only thing i hope is one day i say it loud "i don't feel anything anymore!!!".....baby maybe i'm not best eligible for u and i just want you to know u don't have to worry....whenever u want to leave and step away i pleased u to do so....too long being alone and i'm getting too much into it.....

it's already raya......

times goes by so fast till i not really notice it's already been hari raya.....create another emotion for this day but then the havoc n overwhelming spirit of the day that i hope to rule me over never make it to what i expected....i've lost about half of my seed when i try not to be what i used to....and i love u....whenever red turn to blue i know it turns to worst everytime... everytime i praise Allah i know he will never let me down....the eldest told me they never saw such a dirty heart as mine....they just pray me never lose myself upon something that i'm chasing upon....but then i know what best for me is to held upon my mother and keep giving her full commitment and support so she keep strong walking along her road....less than that i notice i just be more than me,....i pleased myself whenever i'm not in a good shape to do so....the best thing is i'm in my own world and people start to like it that way.....

everyday is count as a fresh start

this week seems a bit sorrow with my new relationship...i off to bed as usual when sun rise and that now be a problem to that particular one....but then all i know i'm truthfully in love with her....but then i'm still waiting and hoping for the far to be as close to me as she is in my heart always....this is like never before...love is a game that i purchased with low price and sold at unbelievable one....i've kept too much secret till i don't know where to start to share a bit with her....the burden that i'm carrying looks very heavy and seems to be hard for me to handle it...the fact i'm just trying to act like an idiot so i can merge easily....sometime i feel so blessed with the inteligence given by Allah to me....i still wonder what happen next and to me that's so bad for me as i need to make the decision as quick as i can without any hesitation....surely what best is i can never stop loving her....i wish i can stay human as i am now...i believe in everyone but i never trust evil inside them....and currently i'm dating someone that i truthfully dream of....

i wish i have u

today is so bright when she said she accept me as what i am....i continue my day as usual with a bit tiring body and mind after a long distance travel...haiz...i see people die like nothing happen...
i don't have idea y....and i found a new reality to live in....a reality that i can believe in n share my love to someone i do care///.....my sis, acai she said miss me a lot but then i only think she's in needed and maybe PMS lol....hehehe
i'm really sorry quite a bit far from u sis....i just need a timing to always be with u by ur side...someday maybe...and auni ariana...thanx for everything...love u baby...

so long

every night i dream a baby come across me and try to kill me...no matter how much i beheaded him or her they still come and stab me with my dagger....haih....i don't know what happen but clearly i hates some baby with that angry look...hahahaha.....i have interest in this girl and i do my homework....hahahaha....so a bit about her that a lot of guy let it go and make it worthless i make it an idea for me to get more closer to her.....but then...times always not enough....and i wish i got my brain to generate ideas faster...

i never set myself to believe in me

i choose to strive to be excel in my own world..despite that i' just turning over upon my own virtue....and i ruin everything...but that just sounds so stupid of me.....later that day i just walked alone and observed all the people around me and tries to adapt the change in extremely cruel manner....and be a young uncle....hahahaha....and my sis acai keep buzzing that she's so tired and only i can say to her is keep holding on your seeds....days have been quite busy and i'm not strong but i never stop fighting.....

u all is just a fucking whore to me....

i never look upon people like the way i should and they all r trash to me n they can go fuck themselves....truly i just love to play with them...because that what r they to me...tools...i love scotch and what's wrong with it...a little alcohol no matter to me....

i can see even without my eyes....

i notice change a lot lately...and a bit busy....but the best part i as the lord of HUG & KISSES succeeded to accomplish the first adventures trip to taiping.....5 days i spent there and i learn a lot of thing and see the wonder beyond my imagination....the people,the scene and the epic of it calmness is so amazing.....though some unpredictable disaster happen but then we all still be awesome and continue the journey.....now it turns to my sifu to pick our two people to hold the title king and queen of this pack.......my relation with my elder sis is getting ok a bit from before...to be the least we can spare some time for us to talk rather than do nothing.....i cook a lot and i taste a lot of food but i never taste the taste of life......i wish someone can help me with it....

so end up like this

i got a question...don't u even regret of what u do n u have been in your life....?seven is the number i pick today n i'll show u how i'm working with it right now.....it's not how much u regret it but the fact is how much u live within it to the fullest......lately i've been weird....i started to change.....a lot....and that so impress at the beginning but the reality i just frighten that what i do will turn me upside down......i love that look n i like that smile,,,,but how long can i have the opportunity to have the chance to even glance at it....hahahaha.....i met someone that i learn a lot.... and about 7 what i do to 7 is i make a code from it and so suddenly i be the first to ever succeeded the code of 7.....everything look lame on me but later then i found the miracle happens...i realize me don't ever be the same again....i've revive from my deep sleep....heeeeyyyyaaaa

i wish it never be today

i meet a kind of another seed of me.....but still i'm to afraid to accept the reality.....for best i don't feel me is right and what i've done is clearly evil......well...maybe i love myself like that.....no fun at all....everything i do seems weird but i like it.....and i think i'm in love again....but then i don't know how it happens.....y it always be violet.....i never wish but then i still got it.....for the best is to let go because if it was meant for us it will always come back and be for us.....i fall from the sky and still walk like nothing happen.....sometime i remember old times but clearly old times is just past......i know what i believe and i never regret something to be.....i talk to much to get attention that i don't ever need because i got my ears to pay attention on everything she say.....and i love that......i miss her a lot....and i hope it will always in there......never disappear.....

beautiful doesn't means fresh

seeing monday makes me reminds sunday is awesome.....but what if i'm not eligible to be on both monday n sunday....like seriously i'm just passing by but still i want to nail on those two...clearly..i'm in relationship with someone but i don't know how long it will last this time....to be able to love her 99 is my dream and i'm willing to give full commitment onto it.....like usual all starts in weird manner.....either i'm the one insane or just the universe want to play a game with me....but i never care that....what i know i just learn to love her and understand the words of loyalty mean,....i hope i can turn a good one on her.....so i'm looking forward in meeting her but i don't know when i got the chance.....me n my sis getting back and my heart kinda touch because she can talk with me like before.....damn i miss many great things due to my ego....and i'm proud of it.....cause i never die when i can't live....hahaha.....i hope this happens on cause in which it will give both of us great happiness and maintain the balance in our heart......