ping ai

it means peaceful love.....the only thing that human hope will be eternity......hehehehe....tomorrow i'm gonna get back to my hometown.....met my family....gosh miss them so much...and also the one who meet me in herself.....so rough my week...i suppose to go back today but it ends i don't make it to buy the tickets.....hehehehehe.....playing games and miss my soul again n again.....where r u???let me know u still here in me.....this the only way can help me express myself rather than torturing people insanely and heartlessly......

take it

enough of playing and i wanna it to exactly.....no perhaps or maybe....end of the day i please myself with a little joy after hearing her voice.....kinda weird but still i live in silence......so dark and empty....nothing can fill it.....hmmm......tomorrow i'll be returning home....seeing lovely mom and get her blessed in everything.......keep owning is the way but still i don't understand what is mean by that.....i enjoy my life but i need u to be there to make it complete.....like people said our life journey is completed by death and our life history is completed by love......hahahaha....kinda 'fluffy' tonight...because in the mood of relying on love......

really???

simple thing but i just be the cause of the issue hate myself hardly.....want something that can cheer me up...i mess my life to it...i don't know why.....i really thought that thing would be okay if i do keep a distance until my self is sink in me...but on the other hand she still make me wonder what else???hmmm.....i'm tired and hope a bless from u god...show me the way...easily so i won't hurt anyone anymore....one thing i got today is never lies to the one who believes u and never believe to someone that lie to u.......i respect her but still what the thing that would make people satisfied!!!!!!argh.....i'm killing myself.......i'm just a normal person who lives on my way and work on my destiny.......please don't ask me to do the god's grief or the god's wrath......i'm begging u.....my breaking point is vanishing others...please......know me and live and love me.......

very plenty of things to be done

i don't know what is i'm doing today....what i'm chasing or for what i live....only i know i already finish my job.....hehehehhe,,,....out from exam for a while.....hehehehhe...kindly i'm bored....finding someone new and have a brain that freshly from farm is very indulgence to me....hehehehe...such a lame week after all....next week need to attend the class and spend sometime with the lecturer....i'm living in my past....is that ok..????or it's just a reason for me to not move on.....cody n ester move on why can't i.....but still i choose it to be that way....because past creates the future.....and past make the future knows it history......life ends but history still there till there's no one left to continue writing it......good morning...two days ain't sleep now it's the time.....

one paper past

a very tired week after all...a paper had just past..now waiting for another 4 paper then i'm done with this week and looking for some entertainment.......realizing that i'm suffer enough with myself i try to avoid other to feel the same way as i do....maybe i can only be a loner....that's how i should live my way...but on the other hand still have someone that i should pay my life to.....hope that i'll be able to make her happy even just for a single moment in my life...instead of everything happen i still don't regret with what god gives to me.....i think he just give me a way to be better...hope u forgives me because i know every step i take,every words i say and every move i make i still can't make u smile...

a sorrow life

gosh its really hard for me to sleep tonight....i dunno what will happen early this day but i wish nothing bad happen...GOD thanx u keep me live till today so that i an feel and see your holiness everyday and praise upon u the creator.....alhamdulillah after i've been through this hard week i manage to survive with HIS help.....feel wanna someone to talk...the one who never knows me and the one who are ready to hear me out..i never wish it from the person i've already known.....i only expect it from totally strangers...hmm.....how would that be....something cheer me up today is that person give me space for myself like i wish.....thanx....for being understanding person to me....not going mad to anyone but kinda bored sunday...have a mountain of debt to be solve....and still a little bit try to change although its hard...only think in my brain and heart is my mom...my angel and my everything....i can't afford to live without u mom.....hmm2.....by end of this day...i got  5 minutes to spend with myself then....kinda long time since the last time i updated my blog....but no matter what it takes GOD still gives me chance to be awesome.....alhamdulillah......

feel this way

when i need to decide what i want i choose to be me.....when i realize i am what i am then it makes me feel like myself is very empty.....when i walk all alone down the alley of my sorrow life i knew that someone will waits for me at the end of it....someone that willing to feel my emptiness n touch the sky with me.....god creates human to make they realize what lives that he gives them means..is it means to be nothing or it means to everything....we plan but the universe will set it up...by end of day i saw something good..i start believing and i know He'll always be with me in my heart....thanx God.....

one thing is everything

today god gives me something best to be as example how human can be in any manner.....deep in my soul i feel like i'm losing everything...but to be sincere there's someone is always there for me.never felt this way to be feel love deeply....aiya...hehehehehe....it is a disappoinment to my family maybe if they know what happen..indeed i'm just a normal human who is searching for his life's meanings....hehehehe...hope god always bless me.,,,,....

i don't know

i'm all alone but i'm not alone...still boring and losing my deeds in continuing what i'm chasing all over this year....then time pass and i'm really don't have a single second for myself.....instead of being dragged into others world.....pity of me.....suggestion keep coming to my head but i need to make decision which one can make a change in my life.....pretend to laugh and sad is a routine...but in other side i feel so disgrace with my disable to live my way......god help me out....part of it still have some meanings to be remembered in my life....looking outside the window i i found a world beneath the world i' living now.....world that no one would ever been there to mess it.....so tired but can't afford to sleep.....hehehehehehe.....

to find a way

since i changed my lifestyle to be this way it seems not right to others....i can't even know why because i never give or bring disaster to one's life....i write my own history and i don't really want to share it with others....include my beloved....so early today went to class and quit a little bit shit when i need to sing in front of class because i'm late.....hmmm.....tired of chasing dreams..i only want to live with my means necessarily.....despite the fact that i'm awesome when i wanted it to be that way......

not really in the mood

why i need to face the lost in my mood...i don't even care of things happen around me...going out with a friend of my today is kinda weird...seems a long time ain't meet her but still cool...tonight i'm continuing my routine on watching dexter...not end by satisfaction but end by misery when someone that try to understand me can't even understand herself....what am i suppose to do...besides i hate when too much crowd in my life.....and watch out to the other guy...you are of your line either u back off or i'll make u know what we called burnt in the darkness.....enough of patience it's time for me to win this game...

time for perfect wednesday

it's a wednesday buddy!!!time to rest and spend most of my time by entertaining me all day long...starts with a morning kiss to my mom when i called to her phone this morning then will end up sleep tides on the floor tiredly but with a deep cheer...hehehehe....i was wondering how am i going to be when i grow up...and yet the answer seems to far from me to know it....but who cares...as long i already prepared to live for tommorow is good enough for me...heheheheh....don't want to share anything i only want to say good morning and make your wednesday as awesome as i do...hehehehe.....