feel dizzy and heavy.....

just arrive my apartment late yesterday's evening......the house still 'haunted' as usual and people have tons of plans to do.....sit and addicted to tv series and watch it over again and again.....have a huge plans after this...that's all depends on you god.....i know you'll always help me to keep walking on your path.....getting better with everyone around me and get so tired with what happens to me.....feel like i don't have any means living for the day.....but still my means is my goal and also my mom......despite the fact that i'm trying to be what i supposed.....i just turn over to change and be hypocrite....i don't know which side of it but i know i've changed to something that is worse than before......less than that i know how to make people suffer by their owns and i know how to make people feel great lost by my brings.....fantasizing about cakes as usual make me always live in calm and happy....very lonely but this is what i've chosen before so i just need to accept it and work it out......a pot of gold is there front of me but i ignore it in my own think i can achieve a pot of diamond or higher.....what i got is wasted and lame.....i think i just got what i deserve after all.....being alone and wasted...get haircuts to make sure i'm in new reality to strive with all my deeds....good luck awesome....