inside and outside

spare me sometime to live and make the person i live for happy more than i can ever done to myself.......go to class and get in tense for a while after knowing much truth than i should......as if i'm just a little powerless human and i could never be more than that....my vengeance suddenly go away by the presence of my fresh start.....it's for the first time my rage is vanish by a single smile and the angel's voice.....i curse out myself for what i ever be vefore...but it just such a waste because time past it never moves in rotation manner....i notice that the path i take is rarely and very hard.......at one time i only feel like i'm already dead and just be a soulless person to walk on this world......i can't even finish my routine anymore...it is hard for me who choose to live in past of my present.....i close my eyes and i still can see u.....the best part of me is just u and it already died...........this week much thing i cry about.....mostly about the sins i've made...and i just keep getting better in my snooker and billiard....i cheer myself for a while but still i cry........i sleep i dream and i hope i'll never wake up anymore.....people ask me..."where would u be in hell or in heaven after your afterlife...??"i just answered..."hell of course..it's suits me well to be there forever because type of people i be when i live match the characteristic of the hell's resident...."and i never have such regret if god sends me there....because i need to pay for my sins.....and to lady that i've ruin your live so much drag u into my darkness i apologize for all my fault...i'm really sorry and i never meant to let u all be like that.....i hope u all can find the right guy better than me......my pray is always with u girls.....